When did life get so busy? Seriously. I don’t remember being busy every single weekend when I was younger. It feels like life is passing me by on a speeding train. I blink and the train is through to the next station. I won’t lie, I was born in ’91- the same year AOL launched. Life without the internet, I don’t know what that is like. Everything has exponentially sped up my entire life. However, being a part of the transition generation between analog and internet, I remember summers outside and using my imagination ALL THE TIME. I remember making art, mud pies, and exploring a world to figure out how life works. I had to work to find the answer to the questions I asked. I couldn’t just type it into my phone for instant access to all of the world’s public information.

The feeling that time is going faster, of course, has to do with the natural progression of aging and the perception of time’s relevance. But I believe that there is more to it. We do not need to wait anymore; everything we need is at our fingertips- instantly. The skills of waiting, having patience, and giving effort are being lost in the lightning-fast advancements of technology. This realization had me wondering. Why? Why are these skills getting lost? Let’s try to pick this apart a bit.

Instant Gratification

These days, everything can be faster, “easier” and instantly rewarding. It is easier to find information, access to more data, and then doom scrolling is a normal thing to do as you fall asleep at night. This has led to needing the next best thing- finding the next dopamine fix- as fast as possible.

Instagram, YouTube, Vine (for us who have been on social media a bit longer), and TikTok have made it so easy to move to the next item when our interest is no longer engaged with what is right in front of us. The average attention span these days has whittled down to 8 seconds (or less) from 12 seconds in 20 years. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely am guilty of scrolling when I should be or could be doing something productive. In a world where we don’t have to wait, the time it takes to do anything speeds up dramatically. Giving us more time to fill with tasks of all kinds. Moving from one thing to the next instantly can be great for short-term productivity, but it will wear you out faster than you can imagine.

There is a significant amount of research about the impact of how dopamine is released on the constant interaction with social media and Shorts/Reels. I don’t know enough about this to make any comments, other than when I was trying to stop picking up my phone to scroll mindlessly, I learned how difficult that habit it is to break.

Instant gratification has become so ingrained in our lives, society, and how the world functions. I think about so many aspects, though, of those transition years. Basically, the 90’s. “Instant” gratification started as soon as you could send an email, and it appeared across the country lickety split! I have so many memories of weekends being at home, after school with friends, doing homework with a pencil and paper, and time seemed to move a tiny bit slower. We had to be in the moment- mentally checking out of the current situation was not as easy as picking up your phone to scroll.

Constantly Available

One aspect of instant gratification is having a way to contact anyone immediately. From letter to telegraph, telephone to emails, emails to texting. Now we have so many ways to communicate- and the other side of that, endless ways for others to contact us. I truly believe we were not made to be constantly available. If we are constantly being pulled away from the moment because of texts, group chats, and DMs, what is helping us be in the moment, slowing down the speed in which life moves? Nothing.

At one point, years ago, I was at lunch with my mentor (shout out to Becci), and we had this conversation about how we don’t just have our phone to connect us anymore, our watches connect us to people. We have become accustomed to just checking to see who it is. When you are at lunch with a friend, and they keep their phone right by their and check it continuously, it gives the impression they have better places to be. The same happens when someone checks their watch at every notification mid conversation. We are constantly being pinged in every which way.  

Being in two places at once 

When we are either scrolling on our phones, checking for texts and phone calls or even just not being fully present in the moment, we are giving ourselves a huge disadvantage. Not only are we unable to fully take in what is around us, we are giving 1/2 effort to two focuses rather than full effort on each thing.

When you are fully in the moment, time also reflects that. It may feel like it goes by quickly, but you will feel like the time was filled entirely rather than scattered all over the place.

Think about something as simple as a coffee shop. Walk into a coffee shop today- a hipster-y one that has the GOOD coffee. You will likely see a handful of different types of people. Do you see any of them with a connection to some sort of screen or communication device? Now, if you’re lucky, you will see someone with a newspaper, or just sitting and taking it all in, drinking a cup of coffee. If you have time, talk to them. They likely have some pretty great answers to life. They have learned the importance of being in the moment- doing “nothing”.

Finding your peace

So now that we have talked about the sour realities of what is aiding in the speeding up with life, how do we work on limiting it? First, turn off unnecessary notifications. That could be to only have a handful of people on your “favorites” list so that those notification are not silenced while you turn your phone on Do Not Disturb. You could turn your phone to “Landline mode”. You could even as easy as putting your phone down on the counter or designated space. Oh, trust me. It is so easy to list these tasks out, but when I do them, I feel like I am breaking an addiction.

We also have the opportunity to wait, to gain our attention span back, to be in the moment as much as possible. We can break these trends. We can slow life down- or at least be enough in the moment to fully take it in.

I challenge you to go to a coffee shop, or a cafe of any kind, be in the moment. If you have a difficult time just being quiet solely drinking coffee, then bring a book. But for 30-60 minutes, be in that place, entirely, without distractions from a device. It will be ok and it will help in the shift from chaos to calm.

Get out there and start being in the moment!